Apr 13, 2009

Clean One Liners | clean jokes one liners | Pick-Up Lines

Anyone got some clean one liners? I got a few... clean jokes for you
Hi, I'm [name] and you are...gorgeous!
Hi, I'm [name], how do you like me so far?
Hi, my name is [name], but you can call me lover.
Can you catch? because I think I'm falling in love with you.
Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by you again?
You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You're making the other girls look really bad.
I must be in a museum, because you truly are a work of art.
Were you arrested earlier? It's gotta be illegal to look that good.
What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?
Is it hot in here, or is it just you?
Ya know, you look really hot! You must be real reason for global warming.
Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?
Are you sure you're wearing make-up?
Are you accepting applications for your fan club?
I feel like Richard Gere, and I'm standing next to you, the Pretty Woman.
Pinch me. "Why?" You're so fine I must be dreaming.
Is your father a boxer? Cause you're a knockout.
If your parents hadn't met I'd be very a very unhappy man right now.
Was you father an alien? Because there's nothing else like you on earth!
Can I borrow a quarter? "What for?" I want to call my mom and tell I just met the girl of my dreams.
Can I borrow a quarter? "What for?" I want to call your mother and thank her.
Is your father a thief? 'Cause he stole the sparkle from the stars and put it in your eyes.
You must be a heck of a thief 'cause you stole my heart from across the room.
If you were words on a page, you'd be what they call Fine Print!
You're so sweet, you'd put Hershey's out of business.
Do you drink milk? Cause it sure did your body good.
Is your name Gillette? Cause you look like the best a man can get.
You look like the type of girl that's heard every line in the book. So what's one more?
I'd use a cheesy pick-up line on you, but you're too smart.
I know this is going to sound like a line, but did that sound like a line? Are you disappointed?
Hey baby what's your sign?
So... How am I doin'?
Can I flirt with you?
Where have you been all my life?
Say, didn't we go to different schools together?
Excuse me, do you live around here often?
Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling tic-tac's?
I'm sorry, were you talking to me? "No." Well then, please start.
Do you think I need my library card? Cause I'm checking you out.
You see my friend over there? [Point to friend who sheepishly waves from afar] He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
Date me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Gertrude?
Do you like raisins? How about a date?
I lost my phone number can i borrow yours?
I'm in the process of writing a telephone book. May I have your number?
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
Are you tired? 'Cause you've been running through my mind all day long.
If I said you had a great body would you hold it against me?
I hope you know CPR, cause you just took my breath away!
Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?
What's wrong? You're looking a little sad and gloomy. What you need is some vitamin ME.
Hey, don't I know you? Oh yeah, you're the girl with the beautiful smile.
Can I have directions? "To where?" To your heart.
Inheriting one million dollars means so little when you have a weak heart.
What was that? "What?" It was the sound of my heart breaking.
Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot.
Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?
Do you have a map? I just get lost in your eyes.
Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. And I'm lost at sea.
The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name.
If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you.
Excuse me, I don't want you to think I'm ridiculous or anything, but you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I just felt like I had to tell you.
I wish I was one of your tears, so I could be born in your eye, run down your cheek, and die on your lips.
When I said I'd die single, I only meant that I didn't think I'd live long enough until I found you.
What's the difference between chopped beef and pea soup?
Everyone can chop beef, but not everyone can pea soup!
A magician was driving down the road..then he turned into a drive way...

Why don't aliens eat clowns.
Because they taste funny.

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh

Two snowmen are standing in a field. One says to the other : "Funny, I smell carrots too".

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?

Two peanuts walk into a bar.
One was a salted.

Once upon a time there were two muffins in the microwave. Suddenly, on of the muffins says:
"Man it's hot in here!!!!"
The other muffin exclaims,
"Look a talking muffin!!!!"
Is there a rainbow? Cause you're the treasure I've been searching for.
If I had a rose for everytime I thought of you, I would walk in my garden forever.
[Look at his/her shirt label. When they say, "What are you doing?":] Checking to see if you were made in heaven.
Did it hurt? "Did what hurt?" When you fell out of heaven?
(With hands on shoulders) Oh, those are shoulder blades, I thought they were wings.
Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!
Somebody better call God, cuz he's missing an angel!
How was heaven when you left it?
I didn't know that angels could fly so low!
What time do you have to be back in heaven?
Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel?
Wow. You look like an angel. Welcome to Earth.
I think I can die happy now, cause I've just seen a piece of heaven.
For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me.
Are you lost? 'Cause it's so strange to see an angel so far from heaven.
Do you believe in modern revelation? cause I believe I'm standing in front of an angel.
Are you religious? Good, because I'm the answer to your prayers.


Lady Jane on 6:31 AM said...

Nice, now I am wondering what was your favorite pick-up line was from this list. You will have to tell me. Mine was this one "I wish I was one of your tears, so I could be born in your eye, run down your cheek, and die on your lips." Definately liked this post.

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