How to be lazy

Laziness is the key to success. Here are the rules of being lazy:

# 1. Never do anything. If you wait around long enough, someone else will do it.

# 2. Don't move. Moving is overrated.

# 3. Never run. Running is the worst thing you can do. I had to run once.. big mistake.

# 4. If something is not in your reach, you don't need it. Before you get up to get something across the room next time, think. Do you really want to get up and walk all the way there and all the way back to get it? Yeah, I know. I felt stupid for moving all those times.

# 5. Don't have an opinion. Opinions are thoughts, and thoughts are work.

# 6. Don't work. Working is for suckers. Be a CEO if you can, they never do anything.

# 7. If you have to move, fuss about it. Make it well known that you're pissed off because you have to move. Sigh a lot. Drag your feet and arch your back at 60 degrees (bad posture helps you to conform to the shapes of couches when you sit down, and it makes you look tired).

# 8. Sleep as much as you can. Contrary to common sense and popular belief, sleeping is very productive.

# 9. Don't talk. Talking requires the movement of your jaw.. way too much work.

# 10. If you have to work, do a half-assed job at it. Example: If you have to rake leaves, push them out into the road or into your neighbor's yard. If you have a riding lawn mower, run over them a few times until the pieces are small enough to hide in between blades of grass.

I have more rules, but this is taking more effort than I thought. I'll update this later.. if I'm not too tired.

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The Best Card Trick In The World

World Class Magician David performs another stunning feat of card magic, and betrays magicians the world over by showing how the best card trick in the world is done.

The card trick

If you're as magical as you'll have a crowd around you. If not, you'll need to find two people for this card trick. Tell them both to pick a card from the deck. Tell them to look at it and show it to their mate and the camera. They may find this confusing. But persevere.

Tell the lads to dump the cards on the top of the deck, and now perform some flashy shuffles. Now the cards have been shuffled and slammed into the middle of next week, it's time to perform some M.A.G.I.C. illusions!

With razor-like fingers, cut the deck in half and give one half to a lad. Take half of the other half (that's a quarter of the whole deck for any maths fans out there) - and fan it out, face up. Now smooch the face up cards into the other quarter deck thus mixing face up and face down cards. Hand this mess of cards to a lad and take the other half of the deck, again, fan out half of this deck and smooch it face up into the other cards.

Take the mess back off the other lad, and bang all the cards together, truly mucking them up. With the cards all mixed together, cut and turn the deck, and ask a lad to tap the deck with his young fingers. This is when the magic happens. Now go through the deck to reveal that not only are all the cards magically returned to order but that the two cards they chose stand alone face-up in the deck.

How it's done

Other magicians have exiled David from the magic circle and various internet forums for exposing his tricks but that's not going to stop him from revealing all,Just remember to thank him, if you ever meet him. You'll know it's him because he only has one suit.

Once you've found some lads, tell them to pick a card each. You do not need to know what these cards are for this cool card trick to work.

Tell the lads to put their chosen cards on top of the deck. We are going to use two blue cards here so you can follow them through the card trick. Now you make what magicians call false cuts. These are used to confuse the lads with movement, making them think the deck is being shuffled without actually changing the order of the cards. Here's how it's done. As you can see no cards change position at all, but when performed at speed, it appears as though they are mixed.

Now peel off the top two cards with your thumb as you begin to shuffle and keep them at the bottom of the deck while misdirecting the lads with a question like "can you remember your cards?". Flip the bottom two cards upside down, so they are now face up. When you break the deck, surreptitiously pull off one card from the bottom, so that you are left with two half decks both with one chosen card face up on the bottom.

Now you give one half to a lad to hold. Cut your deck in half and when you fan the cards flip the other deck over so that the bottom card is now the top card. When you smooch the cards together you are only mixing face-up cards except for the chosen card. Now all the cards are face up except the chosen card. But the audience doesn't know this, and that is the crucial deception. Do the same with the other deck. And mix both decks together, all the cards are face up except the two chosen cards, cut and turn the deck. Now go through the deck and reveal to the audience what you already know - all the cards are face down except for the two chosen cards. Asking someone to tap the deck implies that the magic happens at that moment, but we know it happened a long time ago. And there's how to do a great card trick.

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Thirsty Cat

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Cool optical illusions video

10 optical illusions in 2 minutes have fun...

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Tips for a Flat Stomach

Developing a lean, flat stomach takes time and patience, especially when it comes to those last few kilograms in those hard to lose places. There is only one way to lose fat in the so-called ’stubborn areas,’ and that is with the correct combination strength training (with a extra focus on mid-section), cardiovascular exercise (short, hard workouts), and stable blood sugar (keeps you from adding additional fat and makes it easier for the body to use body fat for fuel).

Spot Reduction is a Myth - The first thing you need to realize is that it is impossible to ’spot reduce’ fat from one specific part of the body. Fat loss occurs systemically, meaning that you can’t control where the fat comes from. When you burn fat for energy, you will draw it from all areas of the body, and the first place you tend to put it on will be the last place it comes off.

Cardio, cardio, cardio - Doing all the abs exercises in the world will do nothing if you have a layer of fat covering it. Doing strength training, or lifting weights, would help, but not as much as aerobic exercise. If you want to add some ab exercises in after the cardio, that’s great, but be sure to work your whole torso, not just the upper abs — that includes the lower abs, lower back and the muscles that wrap around your sides.

For example, Walking, jogging, bicycling, elliptical exercise and stair climbing are all great fat burners. Most give up early in the workout. During the first 10 minutes of aerobic activity, glycogen (stored carbohydrates) is the primary fuel source. Because you don’t burn significant amounts of fat until glycogen stores are depleted, the key to maximum fat loss is to work out aerobically for 30-60 minutes continuously per session.

Diet - Its best to stay away from fried food and too many sugary desserts. Abdominal fat loss is a 50% exercise, 50% nutrition combination. Regardless of how much you workout, if the number of calories you take in is greater than the amount you burn, you’ll still put on abdominal fat.

Eat Small Meals Regularly - You should try and spread your calories out into five small meals a day instead of 2 or 3 big ones so that you don’t overeat in one feeding.

Give it Time - If you want to have a flat stomach in 3 weeks, forget it. Losing fat takes time, and it’s unhealthy to lose too much weight too fast. Gradual weight loss is healthier, and more likely to be sustained over time. Go for a lifestyle change, something you can live with for the rest of your life, or you will just yo-yo. It’s a marathon, not a sprint.

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